do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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