Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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