I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you inspire me to be a worse person
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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