hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize