Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
