Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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