My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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