There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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