so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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