ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize