he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
