So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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