I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
