Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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