Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
