im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
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True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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