please come you make the beer taste better
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We are two peas in an std pod
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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