Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize