never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
