why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
