I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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