I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
