what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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