i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
