Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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