I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Randomize
