I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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