My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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