my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
