AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.