Texts From Last Night

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  (319): View more from Iowa

  the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler

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  (319): the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler http://tfl.nu/fwfa
  Replies (12) Good night (5887) Bad night (938)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Everybody was literally kung fu fighting

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  (803): Everybody was literally kung fu fighting http://tfl.nu/75ca
  Replies (33) Good night (10795) Bad night (1077)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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  (201): i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/ojs9
  Replies (29) Good night (1352) Bad night (6900)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want

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  (702): whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want http://tfl.nu/m1hp
  Replies (39) Good night (7223) Bad night (1593)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn

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  (360): He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn http://tfl.nu/981u
  Replies (6) Good night (2742) Bad night (612)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  So Monday we're lesbians.

  (1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.

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  (717): So Monday we're lesbians. (1-717): Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball. http://tfl.nu/1nin
  Replies (6) Good night (1430) Bad night (586)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I don't even know what to say right now

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  (773): I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away. (847): I don't even know what to say right now http://tfl.nu/f47i
  Replies (6) Good night (1230) Bad night (676)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers

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  (201): So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers http://tfl.nu/32bd
  Replies (11) Good night (609) Bad night (1218)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?

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  (401): Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra? http://tfl.nu/q2ra
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (386)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.

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  (337): I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working. http://tfl.nu/wijm
  Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (469)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!

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  (412): Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life! http://tfl.nu/3yi6
  Replies (6) Good night (1033) Bad night (372)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.

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  (630): I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them. http://tfl.nu/i0r0
  Replies (0) Good night (309) Bad night (562)
• Favorite

  (331): View more from Illinois

  Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!

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  (331): Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws! http://tfl.nu/1f2r
  Replies (0) Good night (569) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment

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  (732): After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment http://tfl.nu/eznb
  Replies (2) Good night (818) Bad night (231)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.

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  (620): Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire. http://tfl.nu/eow7
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (257)

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