life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods