did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...