fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle