Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(631): View more from New York

AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg

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(810): View more from Michigan

Is licking assholes a new fad or something?

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(954): View more from Florida

everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone

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(310): View more from California

someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.

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These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable
Read it at the TFLN blog
(423): View more from Tennessee

I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg

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(248): View more from Michigan

Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine

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(256): View more from Alabama

THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO

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(513): View more from Ohio

In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.

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