Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?