After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.