She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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