New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
