Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
