everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
