It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just want nice things and good sex
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
