problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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