What did we do last night that was yellow?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize