So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
