I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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