so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
