If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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