watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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