Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
