so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i think i have herpe
just one?
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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