so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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