laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I party with great urgency now.
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