"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
