Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
