I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
