the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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