You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
