They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
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As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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