So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I cannot find my penis.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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