Define "chronic" masturbator.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
