Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
