You really coming over, don't trick.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
