would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
