Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
