Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
