Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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