What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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