i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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