forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
