Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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