I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
